Author: Debra Weldon

The deeper I go in my relationship with God, the more sad I become. Don’t worry. It is a good kind of sad; a mourning of earthly things that I love, and which must now be surrendered.  I am slow to surrender things, and I am blessed that he is teaching me self-patience and trust that he is taking me at the best pace for me and my brokenness. By brokenness, I mean the impact of sin in and around my life.  

There have been many times over the last few years where I have had the occasion to say – God, this seems so hard, dying to self.  Will I continue on the path?  My answer always comes from Peter, “to whom shall [I] go? You have the words of everlasting life.” Jn 6:68.  This statement from Peter comes at a time when his faith is really challenged.  Many of Jesus’ followers left him.  

In fact, in Mt 7:14, Jesus tells us that the way to Heaven is a narrow road, and few will follow.    This statement is a hard one, and sometimes brings up fear of hell. However, I have come to differentiate between going to heaven or hell and living a Christian life.  Jesus’ words seem pretty clear, but I find that the former focus leads one to make decisions out of fear of an eternity of horror.  Thus, I choose to look at this narrow road as meaning  there are few who will choose to live in the Kingdom more fully in this life for the narrow road is about dying to self, cross carrying, and service to others. There is no room for self love in this equation.  Self love must die. We cannot die to self unless we substitute it with love of God.  We must become less so that he can become more. 

Spend some time today inviting the Holy Spirit into your prayer.  Ask him to enlighten you as to how to better travel the narrow road. Ask him to fill you with love of God, and to help you surrender what he is calling you to surrender today.  You may find that you take it back down the road, but just surrender it again and again until you fully relinquish your hold on it. God is merciful and loving. He asks these things of you so that you might live life more fully.  It is counterintuitive, but God works outside of our frame of reference. Luckily, he knows what is best for us, and will guide us along the narrow road, but only if we let him.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, OP

The Old Testament has many statements that can be misunderstood. For instance, I was just reading, “God will gather you; even from there while he bring you back. The Lord, your God, will then bring you into the land which your fathers once occupied, that you too may occupy it, and he will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers.” This statement implies that God will take care of us the way our sinful human hearts long to be treated.  

The truth is, God allows things to happen to heal us, and bring us ever nearer to him. The problem is that we tend to get confused when he circumcises our hearts.  We feel pain and/or mental confusion, and we run to the world to fill the void that he cleared out for our mental, physical, and spiritual health. We undo what he has done for our benefit. 

The truth is, only God can fill the void within us, but he can only fill us if we allow him to clear the clutter within that keeps him from fully setting up his residence within.

Spend some time today pondering where God is working in your life.  Are you cooperating or resisting. Invite the Holy Spirit into your day to give you the wisdom and courage to stop resisting, and to allow him to continue his work of fulfilling you the way you were intended to be fulfilled.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

As professed believers in Jesus the Christ, we are a people who walk in covenant with God.  The New Testament does not do a lot to spell out what this means because the Old Testament has all the information we need.  

What can we learn from the Old Testament?  Living in covenant means that we have made promises to God, and he has made promises to us.  In short, God has promised to deliver us from slavery and to provide for us all that we need, and we have promised God that we will reject all other gods, and live under the law. The law under Jesus was simplified to – love the Lord your God and your neighbor as yourself.  

In addition to the promises, there were curses for failure to uphold the promises.  If you recall the covenant scene between God and Abraham, God passed through animal carcases that were split in half. This meant that the same thing that happened to the animals would happen to God.  For the people, the curse was that a lot of bad stuff would happen, including exile.  

In fact, during the time leading up to the Babylonian exile, the prophets told the people that they would be exiled.  The people laughed at them.  God resided in the temple of Jerusalem. There was no way that God would allow his temple to fall.  They continued to sin. Actually, they thought that what they were doing was enough. They couldn’t see the evil that they were perpetrating in their every day lives.  I’ll cut short the list of sins, but here is a sampling: they were taking advantage of the poor who needed a loan, and charged interest, and they were neglecting the widows and orphans, the oppressed and the like.   

So, what does God do? He let his holy city, his dwelling on earth, be destroyed by the Babylonians.  In fact, there is a great account in Ezekiel where God abandons the temple in the most amazing chariot ever described by mankind.  The people were exiled, and the world wonder built by King Solomon, the temple, was destroyed. Thus were the curses of the covenant enacted. 

The beauty of the story is that God’s chariot headed in the direction of Babylon. He did not abandon them. The people served their penance, and were returned home 70 years later. The temple was rebuilt, and God took up residence again in Jerusalem.  Unfortunately, they continued to sin, and finally, God sent his only son to bring about the new covenant. 

Spend some time today reflecting on where you could do a better job of living in the covenant.  Who are some of your neighbors that could use a smile, a few dollars, a helping hand.  Remember, the idea of Christian living is not to go out and do good works.  No. The idea is to take God, who lives within the temple of each Christian person,  to those in need. As you plan your charitable acts, make sure you invite the Holy Spirit into the mix, both in discerning a plan and in executing your plan.  Acts of charity without charity are just acts.  

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

Sometimes, the meaning of life seems like it is about fitting in, which means trying to be who “they” think we should be. The reality is, the meaning of life is learning who God created us to be.  In our authentic selves, we find true value and purpose in life.  

The problem is – many of us have lost touch with who we really are (assuming we ever knew).  The spiritual journey is a proven pathway for discovering our true selves.  

How does it work? According to the Carmelite tradition (and others), it involves silent prayer.  By sitting in the mystery of an all-mighty God and dwelling on his love for us, we grow in truth; we grow in the truth of who we are before God.  We enter into his loving hands, and allow him to heal us of all the woundedness that has causes us to cover up our true selves.  

Through the process, we learn that we are loved and lovable, despite any bad acts we might have committed along the way. He helps us to unwind from destructive behaviors, and to learn better ways of living in this flawed world.  He uncovers our joy when we learn it is ok to be imperfect, and to accept ourselves where we are.  He unveils himself a little at a time, and shows us just how vast and mysterious and wonderful he is.  He shows us that the purpose of life is to live in his kingdom where peace and love abound. He shows us that despite the bad in the world, he is our be-all and end-all. 

Spend some time today pondering God’s greatness, and the gifts he has given to you. Spend some time pondering what it would be like to know yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly; to know yourself in balance of flaws and special graces that combine to make a truly remarkable and amazing person.  Spend 15-20 minutes just reflecting on his love for you. Thoughts may enter in and distract you. That’s ok. Just push them gently aside, and drift back into that place of peace; that place within where you are one-on-one with him who loves you without any strings attached. 

In Him,

Ms. Debra Weldon, O.P.

This morning, as I start to plan some life changing goals, I was thinking about becoming a new person. This new person would be healthier and more joyful.  As I planned, I started feeling anxiety creeping into my core.   Why? Because I always fail when moving in a new direction. This is not true, but this was the voice in my head.  

I have had occasion to witness the power of words like never and always in my life and in the life of others. These words can be intensely damaging to our psyche.  The truth is – each day is a new day. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we can avoid the weaknesses and failures of yesterday in our today and tomorrow.  We are not bound by anything because we are free in Christ. 

Living in the freedom of Christ is not something that happens over night or with a one time election. The truth is, God works differently than we expect him to work.  Sometimes, there is a learning curve on getting out of bad habits, but a learning curve is not the same as being bound to always fail; to never getting it right.  Each day is a day filled with hope of growing in grace and supernatural wisdom on how to live our lives more in the image of Christ. 

Spend some time today talking to God about how you can become free from all that holds you down. Invite the Holy Spirit into your day to guide you in wisdom on breaking bad habits and how to move without the bonds of yesterday holding you down.  Feel the freedom that comes into your day when you ask God to free you from all that holds you back.  Make sure you are patient with yourself if you fall down. Just re-invite the Spirit back in, dust yourself off, and keep trusting that God is in charge.  

In Him,

Ms. Debra Weldon, O.P.  

The Psalms teach us that God longs for sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving.   Historically, I took a lot of my life for granted, and thus, was not very thankful.  I believed God had a purpose for my life, and hmm, maybe he should have been thanking me for my willingness to do the hard work.  

Over time, my spiritual pride died down, and while I never stopped believing that he had a purpose for me, I did settle into a new belief structure.  Eventually, the Holy Spirit started prompting me to be grateful. I’d be driving down the street thanking God.  I’d wake up in the middle of the night praising God.  I do believe that gratitude was a gift from God; it was a righting of my relationship with God.  For this, I am grateful.  

Now, I try to wake each morning by thanking God for the gift of another day; for the ability to give it another go.  The spiritual journey is that, a journey, and each day teaches me more about the Lord, my God.  Thus, I should be eternally grateful for the gift of being able to start fresh each day; fresh in the sense of leaving yesterday’s self behind, but taking all that I had learned before into a new day.  

Expressing gratitude to God is a way of bringing joy into your day. It brings joy because it is the right relationship with the one who gave you this day to enjoy.  Spend time today thanking God, and praising him for all he has done. Spend some time in silence as you ponder the joy of being loved by God. 

In Him,

Ms. Debra Weldon, O.P. 

This is a question I keep pondering.  The short answer is, if God is love, then doesn’t he have to have emotions?  At the same time, I cannot fathom a God who would feel pain from our sins, especially the “hidden sins” that we don’t want to acknowledge to ourselves, and still create us.  Why would he go through the constant stabs to his heart?  

At the same time, I think he experiences great joy in our efforts, even when they are not wholesome efforts. I think he loves to watch us grow and to learn from even the worst experiences.  I’m not saying that he is sadistic.  I’m saying that I think he delights in how we exercise our cognitive skills and learn from our experiences.  

I think he longs for us to grow in our curiosity of him. He longs for us to long to know him.  He longs for our experience to turn our eyes to greater things; invisible, sacred things.  It is for this purpose that he created us, to share himself with us.  It is our innate longing; our deepest desire.  Because we do not understand our own yearnings and desires, because we cannot see the invisible, we turn our hearts to other things. These other things hurt us; hurt others. These other things do not fill the longing in our hearts, our longing to see Jesus face to face.  

While we cannot see Jesus face to face in this life, we can get closer. The mystics tell us of the path to holiness, the path to standing atop Mt. Sinai with the great I AM.  The process starts with meditating on things of God, the things that he has revealed to us. In time, he will pull us into deeper forms of prayer; deeper experiences with the one who loves us.  

So, what are we waiting for?  In my opinion, we are waiting until the time is right, the time when we have prepared ourselves for God when it is him who is to prepare us.  We do not want to go through the process of letting him make us holy.  We do not want to see the gunk that hides beneath our exterior. We do not want to face things that our pride is not ready to see.  

Spend some time talking to God about your longings, your broken dreams, your desire for fulfillment in this life. Ask him to assist you with your fears of the sacred, of what must happen to you if you are to be sanctified.  Spend some time pondering his goodness and love; pondering his greatness and complexity.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you more fully enter into this path of deeper love and fulfillment.  

In Him,

Ms. Debra Weldon, O.P.

Did you know that in the entirety of the Bible, God has revealed his will that we trust him, and surrender our lives to him?  This idea of surrender has come to be a great topic of my prayer life and of my overall spiritual journey.  

I believe there is a difference between surrendering, and just going along for the ride.   Surrender is trusting him in all things, and yet living prudent lives. Surrender is about trusting that he holds you in the palm of his hand, and that nothing can happen to you that is outside of his will. It is about knowing that he has a plan for your life, and that nothing can take you from this path.  He loves you and wants you to know the extent of his caring. He really will care for us as the lilies of the field if we will but let him.  Yes, bad things happen, but they happen for a reason.  God’s ways are outside of our comprehension. We must trust that everything that happens is within his control.  

How does one surrender?  Well, I started with the simple stuff.  For example, when I hit a red light and feel a rush of frustration course through my body, I say, “God, I accept this as your will for me.”  I can’t control the red light, so it may no seem like a step in surrendering to God.  It is. When I accept these little things in life as God’s will, I feel peace.  I feel bolstered in my faith life.  I feel closer to God.  

I strongly believe that as I learn to surrender little things, and accept them as God’s will, the rest of my life will start to fall into place.  I know that I will learn more about surrender because I am already seeing the results.  

Spend some time today contemplating how you can surrender to God in your own way. Invite the Holy Spirit into your day, and ask him how you can learn to trust him more.  Look for the little things and the big. 

In Him.

Ms. Debra Weldon, O.P.

Today, I continue pondering what it means to be a Christian.  Jesus professed the truth, and yet there are many ways people interpret that truth.  Paul was very stern in his letters when he talked about sticking to the message that was preached.  Even in the beginning, there were splinter groups.  So, how do we know what is truth? 

The Bible tells us that the truth, the law, is written in our hearts. For the Israelites, the heart had a different meaning than it does today. For us, it is about that place from where love flows.  For them, it had more the context of what we consider the responsibilities of the brain.  It was the place from where wisdom flows. It was the place for thought and reason.  (Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church). 

I would suggest that none of us have a full understanding of Jesus’ truth.  It is great to go and hear a bunch of people weigh in on what they think God has revealed in their hearts.  Then, being Christian is about being in a relationship. A relationship requires two-way conversation.  God can speak through others. He does speak through others.  

More importantly, God dwells within you. He longs to share himself with you. He longs to reveal to you the secrets of the universe.  All you need to do is spend regular time in prayer, in silent prayer where you go to that Jewish place of wisdom and discernment.  Spend some time being open to what he has to say.  Trust me. You will learn things you didn’t want to know about yourself, but you will also learn a lot of things about God’s plan for our generation; God’s plans for you.  

God does not speak in words so much as he places things in your interior. In some regards, you will learn what he has spoken to you when it comes out in a journal entry or in a conversation with someone.  You will just all of a sudden realize that the wisdom you just received was not of your own doing. It is a scary journey. We humans love to be in control, and when we enter into this dialogue with God, we have to surrender that control. At the same time, the journey is amazing. It is the journey that will lead us past all of our vices, and into the Kingdom of God, which exists and is (imperfectly) present today.  

Spend some time today entering into a dialogue with your creator.  He loves you more than you will ever know. His love is beyond our comprehension, and is vastly outside of our understanding of love.  Let him whisper true wisdom to you. Let him unveil what is hidden deep within. Let him show you what your entire being wishes to know.  

In Him,

dw