Today I was reading how Jesus healed two blind man because of their faith, and I think back on my childhood, where I chose Jesus, in part, because of the many Biblical promises to keep me safe; to care for me. At some point in my older life, these promises started to look illusory. Sometimes, it didn’t feel like he was keeping up with his side of the bargain. I spent many years confused by this, and the confused years can sometimes look like lost years.
As I look back on these events with my current level of understanding the Gospel, I see how these promises, while seemingly false, are still true. The more divine providence makes sense to me, the more I understand that all that happens to me is intended to prepare me for union with him in the next life. All of the caring and healing has to do with helping me reach this goal. All of those lost years are not so lost because he has used them to help me better understand his ways. In addition, I hope he uses them to help others move more quickly beyond their confusion so that they won’t look back with some level of regret over their own lost years.
Because of all that I see, I can more faithfully pray, “God, heal what you need to heal today in order for me to live a more faithful life today. Help me to seek only what it is that helps me live more fully in your kingdom today. I have faith that you can heal, and that all will be healed when I pass from this life to the next. Heal what needs to be healed today, and help me to patiently and devoutly accept what you allow to remain seemingly unhealed.”
Spend some time with the Holy Spirit asking him to help you see where you have grown disillusioned in the appearance of his broken promises. While you may understand with your mind that his promises are not broken, sometimes when we spend time with the Spirit, we can see where our emotional self is not quite so mature. Be open to what the Holy Spirit has to show you here. Do you have specific things you would like God to heal? Feel free to ask him, but be open to him answering your prayer in a way that achieves your overall objective of being united to him. Make sure that, like the two blind men, you express your faith in his ability to heal you. Then, trust him to do what is best for you in the moment. If you find yourself struggling with any frustration or grief arising because of his decision to do it his way, imagine yourself placing these feelings on the altar or at the feet of the cross. Ask him to help you deal with the emotions that are not in line with your mental decision to accept his promises. Ask him to heal anything that seeks your own will; that prevents you from surrendering to his. In this, I promise he will be faithful. He will heal it, in his time, in his way.