This morning, as I enter the first full week after my Mother’s passing (which is also my birthday), the concept of trust returns to mind. One of my sisters mentioned recently that when one breaks trust, it takes a long time to earn it back. As I ponder God, I wonder if this is true with him. I do not mean in regards to his trust in us. He has no reason to trust anything except that we will be sinners for the rest of our earthly lives.
He has lost my trust at times, but has currently earned it back. In fact, I feel less anxious than at times when I do not trust because I know that when I mess up, he has my back. He turns everything to his glory because I love him. He will guide my feet on safe paths, but sometimes the path may have stones or other obstacles. There may be wolves crying in the distance, and lions lurking in hiding. Even these I need not fear.
I suppose in some respects I have learned that safe paths are not ones where we walk without stumbling or pain. Bad things happen not because God is untrustworthy, but because we sin. Our individual sins create a ripple effect that impacts everyone and everything. God is infinitely trustworthy, but we have to be careful not to let our expectations of how he should act cloud our understanding of his trustworthiness.
As I enter the first year of life without my mother, I choose to trust in the one in whom she trusted. I choose to frequently ponder whether something has happened to hurt this trust, and to address these issues more promptly. I choose to keep on track, to the best of my broken ability.
Spend some time today with the Holy Spirit seeking areas of your life where you feel that God has broken your trust. Ask him to help you resolve these issues, and to restore your trust in the most trustworthy of beings. Ask him to heal the areas of your life where you misunderstand him and his plan, the areas where it feels that he has broken trust, and see if you can enter into an ever deepening relationship with the God who loves you.