Our souls long to be loved, to fit in, to be a part of something greater than ourselves. We want to be seen for who we are, but most of us (or all of us) hide who we really are from those whose love we seek. Is it not fitting that God already knows us? He knows our failings, our longings, our hurts and pains, and still, he loves us.
Why, then, do we find ourselves running from our deepest fulfillment? I suppose the answer is somewhat different for each of us. One reason may be that the Devil whispers lies of unworthiness in our ears; that we do not deserve his love. Since this lie hits our deepest, darkest fear, it strikes a cord. We respond to the lie, instead of the unconditional love that surrounds us and envelopes us.
I think another reason that we refuse to more diligently seek the love of our lives is that we want to be our own boss. We want to make our choices. We want what we want, when we want it. Thus, it is hard to surrender to a God who wants us to do what he wants, when he wants, even though his motives are not selfish. He just wants what is best for our long-term good.
It is hard to go deeper with a God who’s love is so alien to us because he loves even our brokenness; he loves us even though we are imperfect. This is the type of love for which we long, but it is still so foreign to our concept of love. This confusion may also causes us to avoid his love.
Regardless of our reason(s) for avoiding a deeper experience of God’s love, he longs for us to spend time with him, letting him love our hurts away. Spend some time with him in silence today. Invite him into your hearts, and let him love you. When you find yourself avoiding, surrender to the experience. Surrender to the Holy Spirit who wants to love you like you have never been loved before.