Do you ever stop and wonder why Christian life is so different today than it was in Biblical times?  We see in the Acts of the Apostles that people lived in unity and peace.  They lived in God’s imperfectly present but still present Kingdom.  They loved each other, and did their best in their still sinful state to be there for each other.  

Some Biblical scholars question whether this was a bit of an overstatement on the part of the author; that maybe things were not so perfect. In truth, they cannot be perfect while we live in this in-between time, this time in between Jesus’ having come and still to come.  

I keep pondering this imperfectly present, but perfect kingdom, and how it might look.  In John’s Gospel, Jesus tells Pilate that his Kingdom is not of this world.  To me, this means that his Kingdom is a part of the invisible portions of God’s creation.  It is around us, just like angels.  Even though we cannot see it with our physical eyes, we can still perceive its presence. We can perceive it when we are focused on things of God. It isn’t just around us, but it is also within us.  

God resides in the temple within, and he longs for you to come into the center of your being so he can talk to you, heal you, and help you live more fully in the kingdom today. Spend some time with the Holy Spirit asking him for guidance on this journey from the edge of his Kingdom to the castle where its fullness resides. Ask him to help you see where you can better live out what he taught.  Ask him to heal your spiritual vision so you can better perceive the kingdom in and around you. After your time of prayer, spend some time in silence and give him permission to heal the parts of your life that need healing in order to answer your prayers.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

Then going out he went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him.  When he arrived at the place he said to them, “Pray that you may not undergo the test.” After withdrawing about a stone’s throw from them and kneeling, he prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” And to strengthen him an angel from heaven appeared to him. He was in such agony and he prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground.]  When he rose from prayer and returned to his disciples, he found them sleeping from grief.  He said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you may not undergo the test.” Lk 22:39–46.

In these verses, one finds Jesus in the Garden on the Mount of Olives.  In all Synoptic versions of the Agony in the garden, Jesus is depicted as dealing with his interior reaction to his coming passion and his intentional alignment of his will to that of the Father’s plan of salvation. 

Unlike the Markan Jesus, who asked his disciples to wait, the Lucan Jesus tells them to pray that they not undergo the test.  This language reiterates the final line of Luke’s version of the Our Father. Lk 11:4.  Then, Jesus begins his own prayer by addressing God as Father, which is also in parallel to Luke’s version of the Our Father. Lk 11:2. He intentionally assumes a posture of supplication as he kneels down to pray.   In his prayer, he asks the Father to take this cup away, if it be his will.

In no other Biblical place is Jesus’ humanity more clearly apparent as when the author shares Jesus’ anxiety about the physical and mental suffering that is to come. Despite Jesus’ humanly concerns, he expresses obedience to God’s will for the salvation of all. It is a clear act of subordination of a son’s will to that of the Father’s.

While the Father chooses not to take the cup away, he does seem to respond to his prayer with what seems to be an act of compassion as he sends an angel to Jesus in order to strengthen Jesus through his prayer of agony.  Here, Luke uses the  Greek word agōnia, which refers to the sort of struggle and exertion put forth by a wrestler.  With this connotation, one can imagine Jesus persevering in prayer with such intensity that his sweat, instead of beads of water, is more akin to thick drops of blood dripping to the ground.  

Here, Luke omits the thrice returned Jesus finding the disciples sleeping.  (Mk 14:37-42). Instead, he expresses his amazement that they were asleep, and reminds them they should be praying for deliverance from temptation.  By this, he mean to avoid succumbing to the evil power of temptation. In this format, Luke has created an inclusio around his instruction to pray to avoid temptation, which highlights the significance of prayer in dealing with sin.

Here, Jesus is in the middle of some of his worst moments in life.  He is aware of divine providence and his role in it. He accepts what the Father wills to achieve it all.  He understands that God is not capricious, and that divine providence must be fulfilled.  

One sees how his human nature wants to avoid the pain and suffering, and how, in his divinity, he longs to fulfill the plan.  One sees the love between Father and Son in the worst of all moments. The Father, who knows he cannot remove the cup is still compassionate in his delivery of an angel to strengthen him.  It may seem like a small thing, but it was what it needed to be.  One can see this in how Jesus rises up, and allows himself to be arrested.  He is no victim.  He needs no comforting.  Instead, he is of comfort to the oppressor who was injured in the skirmish. Lk 22:51.  

While this is the start of the climax of the story of salvation history, all humans during all periods of human history have their role to play.  Some have minor roles, and some have major.  No matter how trivial or major, each person has their part to play. The way in which one plays their part is all that matters. Some, will ad-lib, and some will take their part to heart.  What matters is that one lives.  God’s plan will prevail without infringing on one’s free will. Still, he sends the leading actor into the story at the perfect moment in time.  For those who live in later moments, it is important to be an understudy to the master, and there is a lot of study that can be enlightening in this one snippet of the story. 

From this snippet, one can learn that doing the will of God doesn’t always play to one’s strength, and that it is only through reliance on the Father through prayer that one can make it. It is only in connection with the Holy Spirit, who while not specifically referenced here has played a notable role throughout the story. He is no doubt there.  This isn’t suggesting that Jesus is not God, but that the human contributor to the writing of this story was still struggling to find words to describe God’s mysterious plan.  

Another lesson is that avoiding sin can only happen through prayer and dependence on God’s delivery. Only God saves. Only God can liberate one from sin.  Jesus, who was God, left the example of complete surrender to the one who knows the rest of the story.  No amount of self-discipline or sheer will power will get one over the finish line.  

The problem is, humans are not divine, and will not always be successful.  Humans will fail at avoiding sin in its entirety, but only because in wrestling with all that is within, one will not always successfully rely on God to deliver them. Humans will succumb to pride, indifference or some other human condition, and will miss their mark. It is ok. The story is about a journey. It is about a journey where one learns what it means to need a savior. One will learn how to release one’s expectations of the role of the savior.  One will learn how to rely on God, even if at the worst of times, all he sends is an angel to strengthen us.  One will learn that whatever is received is all that one needs. 

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

With a little help from: Fitzmyer, Joseph A. The Gospel According to Luke X–XXIV: Introduction, Translation, and Notes. Vol. 28A. Anchor Yale Bible. Yale University Press, 2008.

Grace is Love

Yesterday, I woke with this “proof” in my head:

God is love.
Grace is the Holy Spirit, who is constantly working in and around us.
The Holy Spirit is God.
Thus, grace is love.

Living in the truth of this theorem had amazing impacts on my day.  It was an incredibly grace-filled day.  I more deeply understood that choosing sin was a failure to return God’s love.  Thus, when things like binge eating the cookies on the counter became a strong desire, the idea of loving God by choosing against gluttony made it easier to avoid over eating. 

While what I just said was true, it does not provide the proper depth to what I am trying to say because as a sinner, it is impossible for me to save myself from sin.  Only God can deliver me.  So, when I say that I did not over eat, I mean that I embraced grace, and grace, which is God, delivered me.  How amazing is that? 

God created us to live in this type of relationship with him; a relationship where every aspect of our life is doing our best to let go and let God.  It is a relationship of living in a loving relationship with God, who is a father who provides for his children.  A part of this providing for is learning to live a grace-filled life. 

You see, in the beginning, he provided Adam and Eve with everything.  With the arrival of sin, humans started providing for themselves because in eating the apple, they choose to be their own god. They became the arbiter of what is good and what is evil.  They became reliant on their own works.

One aspect of salvation in Jesus is the return of God as provider.  Matthew’s Gospel very clearly indicates that a part of Jesus’ message was a return to such reliance.  We see this in many verses, including, “consider the lilies” and “even the sparrows.” Mt 6:26-28.

So being Christian means allowing God to do things for us. This is living in a grace-filled life.  This is hard to hear because it is our tendency to want some level of control in our lives.  God does not always care for us the way we wish he would, and this causes us to feel like maybe he is not trustworthy.  Of course, we cannot always admit this to ourselves, but our behaviors are signals that maybe it is more true than we want to believe.  

Once we start to believe that everything that happens, even a pandemic, is not outside of God’s control.  He may not have caused it, but he will use it to our advantage.  By advantage, I mean he will bring us closer to him.  All we have to do is trust that nothing happens without a reason. When we trust him this way, we have a greater sense of peace.  In this peace, we see the fruits of living in Christ. 

Spend some time today with the Holy Spirit. Ask him to show you more clearly what it means to live in his grace. Ask him to show you how to deepen your sense of trust in him, and how you can let go of your attempts to control your life.  He is there, and he wants to draw you into a deeper loving relationship with him. He wants to provide all that you need.  At the same time, he may be asking you to let him provide for someone else through you.  Ask him if there is anything you can do to be him for others in your life today. There are many without incomes or minimal incomes as a result of this pandemic. Don’t be afraid to trust him to take care of your future needs if he needs you to be his help to someone else today. As you finish your time of prayer, spend some time thanking him for all the great things he has done for you, and ask him to continue to show you how to live in a reality where grace is love. 

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

I love this image of dancing with God.  This God of ours is beyond our comprehension, despite our many ways of trying to capture him like in a freeze frame; by trying to put him in a box so that he meets our expectations.  He desires to dance with us. One moment, he is slow dancing. The next minute, he is leading us in a tango.  There is no telling which format of dance comes next. We just have to relax and follow the signals that he provides, the signals that help us to stay in step with him today. 

He wants us to learn to trust him. Since the ways in which he provides for us are not always within our expectations, we have to learn to let go of our expectations; to be open to his out of the box ways of helping.  

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit today, and ask him to teach you how to dance with him. When you feel like you are stepping on his toes or taking back the lead, ask him to help you re-engage in the process of following him.  Trust in him. He will not fail you. So, if you feel like he is failing, open your line of sight. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what he is doing so that you can trust him all the more. 

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

This morning, amid all the horror of this pandemic, I find great comfort in God.  He promises an eternal home, eternal life.  While God is good and does not create bad things to punish us, he does use them to bring us closer to him.  

What can we learn from this pandemic?  I can think of many, but here is the one applicable to the topic of love.  

God loves you more than you can imagine. He wants to teach you a greater reliance on him as Father, Lover, God.  He wants to show you that he created you for a relationship. He wants to show you how to go ever deeper in this relationship.  He wants to teach you to live without fear. Maybe it is better said this way: since fear is an emotion, he wants to teach you how to live with a deeper peace despite uncertainty. Fear balance with faith equals greater peace.

May we see how the gift of remembering that we are mortal allows us to grow in humility, and right relationship with God. He is our all. He longs for us to turn to him, and to allow him to embrace us.  

Spend some time today talking to God. Ask him to show you how much he loves you.  Ask him to open your eyes to where he is working in your life to grow an ever growing perfection within you. Ask him to help you understand how his ways are beyond us, and how you can better learn to trust him in times of uncertainty. He is bigger than the virus. He is waiting to love you all the way home.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

This morning, I stumbled across the words, “I came to fulfill the law, not to abolish it.” I think Jesus accomplished this in a few ways, but I want to focus on one that seems less discussed in our times.  

In the Old Testament, we see God give Israel a law that they continually fail to uphold. Why? There are many reasons, and I’m sure I only see a few.  Part of the human condition called sin is that we are constantly pulled in many different directions between our desire for God and our desire for worldly things. We cannot fully know and understand God’s ways since his ways are beyond us. We are lazy, and proud, and so many things. It is impossible to achieve perfect covenant living when we are sinners. That is why the Israelites failed.

In the New Testament, Jesus comes to free sinners from sin. In freeing us from sin, he has fulfilled the old law by giving us the “power” to overcome sin. By overcoming sin, I am not talking about personal efforts. I am talking about spiritual efforts. Thinking we can save ourselves from personal sin is a heresy called Pelagianism.  While Pelagius specifically taught that we can achieve perfection through our own efforts, the fact is, we, as sinners, are always trying to go it alone, to do it ourselves. It is a part of the human condition, and it is an unconscious form of Pelagianism.

The truth is that the Holy Spirit is the answer to freedom in Christ. It is Jesus’ own spirit within us that has the power to deliver us from sin when we admit our weakness and turn to him for help.  It is not an overnight fix because we have to learn how to rely on him. We have to learn to surrender to his will, and to let him help us let go of everything within us that drives us to work against his saving power. 

God’s kingdom is now.  We must choose each and every minute to live in it. To live in it means to surrender to God who knows best. It starts with his invitation and our response. Our response is doing our best (living virtuously), and asking the Holy Spirit to teach us how to rely on him to supernaturally charge our efforts.  

I’ll be honest. Sin becomes a more intentional action because once we see how God works to deliver us from sin, we still choose sin more of the time than we like.  However, God knows us and is gentle with us.  Remember negative voices are the Devil’s way of getting you to quit.  Just stay the course. Ask forgiveness, and learn to forgive yourself. As you do so, you will learn what it means to be saved by Christ. In our awareness of our sins, we learn mercy. Through a deep experience with mercy, we experience love.  This love is life changing and eternal.  It is through this deeper conversion experience that we start to choose not to sin.  

Spend some time today with the Holy Spirit asking him to help you see how he stands ready, willing, and able to help you overcome sin. Ask him to give you a glimpse of the truth of a deeper love, a deeper walk with him. Remember, the Holy Spirit is calling you to walk with him. He will not show you everything at one time. It is about learning to dance with the Holy Spirit without stepping on his toes.  He will lead, and we have to learn to follow. Ask him to teach you the first move or two in the process. He is faithful, and he will show you the way.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

Let’s talk about our Father in Heaven.  Where is heaven? Is it a place or a state or just anywhere God resides?  I, of course, have no definitive answer, but given that at baptism we become a temple of God, and the Jews believed that the temple was the residence of God, then, I think that it is safe to say that Heaven resides within me, within you.  You might be saying, but it its he Holy Spirit that resides within, that is true, but also not true.  We cannot separate one person of the Trinity from the others, so where one goes, all are present. 

If Heaven is within us, then that means that the Kingdom of God lies within.  Jesus said, his kingdom is not of this world. Jn 18:36.  No, it is an invisible kingdom that is working to make itself visible within the Body of Christ. God the Father wants to draw you further and further into this invisible kingdom so that you can be a visible member of the Kingdom within the visible world.  

You might be thinking that you already do this, and I have no doubt that you do. The thing is, God is beyond our understanding, and thus, there is always more to learn about being his representative in this world.  The wisdom for the more is within the interior kingdom. God is calling you to a deeper form of prayer, which leads to spiritual wisdom.  It leads to wisdom greater than Solomon because it is Holy Spirit infused. 

By a deeper form of prayer, I am talking about mental prayer.  The process goes like this. Beginners start with verbal prayer, and verbal prayers are the prayer of even the most advanced.  Still, this is a monologue with God. Mental prayer is the second step where we start dialogue with God. Mental prayer is a process of meditating on things of God, and then taking them to Heaven within, taking them to silence.  It is in this two step process that we find the dialogue.

In the silence God will shape and mold what you take to him into something new and more profound. He will knock out anything of the exterior world and will fill it with something more. From mental prayer, the mystics tell us that we are taken to a place where God monologues with us. That place is called contemplation for it is in this monologue that we are really able to sit in the throne room of God and ponder the all-powerful and all-mighty God. 

Spend some time today pondering the words of the Our Father.  Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you something more about the first person of the Trinity and the indwelling presence of a fully triune God. Ask him to guide you into this deeper form of prayer. If you already pray this way, then ask him to show you something of the vast wisdom that will enhance your existing process.  Spend 10-20 minutes in silence. The experts say 20 minutes once to twice a day is ideal.  It is ok to use a mantra, like Abba, Jesus, love, … any word or phrase that raises your heart and mind to God. I have come to believe that only the Holy Spirit can take me to silence. It is my job to try and get from head (thoughts) to heart, and to let him do the rest. The mantra helps one get out of the thoughts and into the silence.  May God use your efforts to guide you to a deeper trust in the Father who wants to reveal the secrets of the universe to you. 

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon

For more on learning to pray in silence, I highly recommend anything by Fr. Thomas Keating, and in particular, Open Mind, Open Heart (only because it is the one I have read most recently).  

This is an interesting question. The word is rooted in the Greek word charis, which has to do with favor.  It is a word Paul used to describe the changes going on in his life with his conversion.  For 2,000 years, theologians have struggled to find the best way to explain what Paul was talking about.  You see, things of God are beyond our comprehension. He is so mighty and powerful and oh, so smart. His ways are beyond human language.  Thus, it sometimes takes us a bit to figure it out.  

Over time, grace has been viewed through many lenses, and there have been varying ways of categorizing, systematizing, and understanding grace. Interestingly enough, the theologians of the last 200 years are, from my opinion and experience, starting to get it right. By this I mean, their wording is better describing my experience and giving me a better vocabulary.  You see, grace is nothing but the Holy Spirit who dwells in those who have accepted the Christian way of life.  He is constantly seducing us away from the dark side. He is always calling us to a greater and more perfect form of love.  He is constantly calling us to share in his divine life.  For you see, this is holiness – becoming less so he can become more; dying in Christ so it is no longer I, but Christ who lives in me. 

The word charis was how Paul described the effects of the Holy Spirit within him.  You see, it was the indwelling Holy Spirit that taught Paul about the body of Christ and about freedom in Christ.  I think our society has a lot to learn about this charis, about how the Holy Spirit works and converts us. I know I do.

In my experience, these lessons start with awareness that our all powerful God gave us free will. He cannot, well, will not, override our will. So, he flutters in and around us trying to entice us to a greater awareness of him.  He flutters about and calls us to a greater awareness of our dependence on him. As we participate in the process, we start to realize how he super charges our efforts to avoid sin. It is in being little and asking for his help that we empower him to deliver us from daily occasions of sin.  It is in this manner, and this manner alone (from my experience) that we can find greater and greater freedom to choose the greater good over evil and lesser goods.  In addition, he teaches wisdom, and a way of more fully living the Gospel; of more fully living life to the fullest as Jesus promised. 

Spend some time today talking to the Holy Spirit, and to the extent you don’t already know, get to know this third person of the Trinity. Ask him to help you grow in awareness of his presence. Ask him to improve your awareness of what he is seeking to accomplish in you, and to help you find better freedom in Christ, and a more full life.  

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

I recently read an article about the translation issues for the love your enemies portion of the Didache.  For people who do not know, the Didache was a document written in the early church, and it is about as old as the books of the Bible.  It is the Lord’s Teachings Through the 12 Apostles.  The teachings are very much in line with the New Testament.  

The article was talking about how some translate it like the saying in the Bible – to love your enemies.  The more trendy translation is to have no enemies. The article explained the difficulties with the translation, and how it is possible to interpret the words in various ways and not know with certainty which was the intent of the original author. In the end, they say the same thing, but through two different lenses. 

The article was talking about how our innate human nature sees a person and reacts differently to one category of person, say, an enemy, and another category like friend. So the issue is, can you really love someone you perceive as an enemy? 

The article went on to talk about God’s love. Even the worst sinner is viewed with the same amount of love through God’s eyes.  This is hard to fathom. He loves serial killers and child abusers the same as he loves me.  

As Christians, we are called to love with God’s love, and thus, to love everyone means to learn, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to see everyone as friends; to love everyone despite differences and hurt feelings.   

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit today pondering how it is that we are called to love our enemies. Who are your enemies? Where do you need to work to forgive so that you can call these enemies friends. Maybe it isn’t so much that you are their enemies as it is that they treat you as an enemy, which causes a negative reaction in you.  In my recent experience, I have learned how asking the Holy Spirit into situations brings great wisdom, and it can change any negative vibes.  For instance, I asked the Holy Spirit to show me how to relate to my mother as her dementia progressed.  He lead me to a wonderful place, and our last few years were filled with great joy in each other.  Never doubt that he will do the same for you.  If it doesn’t seem to work, then the prayer becomes, “Holy Spirit, help me to better see and understand where you are working in my life.” He will deliver on this promise if you are truly open. 

You are all in my prayers,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

For more on the Didache: http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/didache.html 

I am the last person who should be talking about emotions. That is one of my biggest defects in life – knowing how to deal with emotions, especially when I feel positive and negative about the same thing.  So, how does one deal with the emotion of fear while living out the commandment to trust in God and be not afraid?  

Again, I don’t have the answer, but what I do know is that we daily pray for God to protect us, to heal us, and the like.  Still, God allows bad things to happen.  We have to remember that he has our best interest at heart.  Our best interest is to be healed home to Heaven when our time comes.  

So, in this age of fear of this new virus and so much uncertainty, let us remember to trust in the Lord. It may not override fear, but it should balance out the fear with something positive.  Let us pray today for a greater understanding of how to trust in the Lord without fear. 

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit asking him to teach you how to live in prudence (using common sense to live a safe life) and to trust Him to use all of the modern ailments to heal you home, to heal you from sin and to establish a greater reliance on your savior, Jesus.  Let us remember that life is ultimately about living a closer walk with God, and that bad things are designed to help us achieve this greater goal.  Be safe, yet trust.  

You are all in my prayers during this time of uncertainty. 

In Him,

Ms. Debra Weldon, O.P.