Author: Debra Weldon

This morning, I reflected on the baptism of Jesus. In the synoptics, John said he baptizes with water for repentance, but one who would come after him would baptize with the Holy Spirit and fire. Why water and fire? Water cleanses externally. It washes away the dirt and grime that settles on the skin.  Fire, on the other hand, really purifies all. 

John says he uses water for a baptism of repentance. Repentance is a means of becoming aware of our imperfections, and regretting them. The Bible teaches that more is necessary, that we must have a true conversion; a turning towards God; a coming from darkness to light. 

Baptism by water comes first. In our earthly baptism, we start to see our sinful nature, and we regret it. Regret is insufficient. So, the waters of baptism cleanses us, but more importantly, Baptism places the fire within.  It sets us on the path of true conversion, full purification. It sets us on the way; on the path of discipleship. On this path, we constantly encounter Jesus, who continues to open our eyes to the better and more perfect way. He shows us where we are missing the mark, and encourages us to change.  In this way, the fire burns away all imperfection, until we fully die and rise with Christ.

In other words, our spiritual journey is the way of attaining all that Jesus promised in the gospel. Baptism with water begins the cleansing process. In addition, it opens the door to the interior where the Holy Spirit takes up residence. Baptism is the gateway to the kingdom of God. It is the beginning of a process of being purified so that we can become one with God in three persons. It is the beginning of a journey. We must be careful not to spend our lives standing in the gateway. We must pass through the gate, and take a  journey with the Holy Spirit. He will lead us from the outer boundaries of the kingdom to the castle, where we will live for eternity in union with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

Spend some time with the Spirit pondering your own conversion. The word “conversion” means a turning towards God. It implies a 180° change in behavior. This change is something that happens throughout our lives. Ask him to help you see if you are hovering at the gate with repentance, and if you need to grow in conversion. Ask him what you can surrender to him so that it might be more purified. Thank him for his willingness to show you the way, and ask him to help you shed all that holds you back.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

Being Christian it’s not about a choice for heaven; a choice against hell. It is a choice to enter into a relationship with one’s creator. It is a decision to walk a certain way of life; to walk away from a certain type of life. Being Christian is not about waiting for death so one can enter into the kingdom, but living in the kingdom today. 

What does it mean to live in God’s kingdom today? This is a question I continue to research, but I will share my current findings with you.  

First, it is a way of life. It is path of following Jesus. The early Christians, and even many Christians today, believed that following Jesus was the way of the cross. This meant accepting whatever came one’s way. God’s divine providence allows all things to happen, and thus we must joyfully accept everything that happens (which might take practice). It means spending time with Jesus. It means prayer. It means being aware of what is happening in the world, and seeking ways to alleviate pain, even to the extent of inconveniencing ourselves. It means putting other people first.

Second, it is a process of becoming Jesus. It is a process that takes our entire life, and likely, to some degree, in the next. We see this truth in the words of Jesus where he prayed that we be one with him and the father, as he and the father are one. Jn 17:21-26. We see this truth in Paul’s statement that he lives no longer, but Christ lives in him. Gal 2:20.

In some respects, I believe the way of the cross is the process by which we become Jesus. When we accept what comes our way, we allow God’s will to be done, just as Jesus allowed it to be done in his passion and resurrection. It is in this process that we learn to be obedient to God as Jesus was obedient. 

The way of the cross is about dying to self for one must die if we are to become Jesus. There are many ways to die to self, but offering up our day-to-day discomfort, pain, and confusion is a very good way to start. We offer these things up by taking them to prayer. We take them into a conversation with God. We can ask him why, but the better question is how. We express our willingness or desire to accept these things, and we ask him for the grace to do so. As we learn to trust in God, and to accept these things, we can challenge ourselves more by creating discomfort in our personal lives. We can do things like take cold showers, allow the temperature settings in our house to be at a place outside of our comfort zone, and otherwise seek to live in a way that does not focus on our comfort and pleasure. These types of choices help us become comfortable in what can be seen as a nomadic life, and in theory, open our eyes to the pain and discomfort in the lives of others. It helps us to become full of compassion.

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit. Talk to him about what it means to follow in the footsteps of Jesus; to be shaped and conformed into Jesus. Ask him to help you see where is your life can be redirected to achieve these goals. Ask him to increase your knowledge of who Jesus is, and what it means to be him. Ask him what you can do to further the process of dying with Christ, so that he might live in you.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P.

Over the last week, I have had an image of two people falling in love. I remembered falling in love myself, and how I wanted to do things to make that person’s life more comfortable and to do little things for them in order to express my love for them. It made me ponder how many of us live a Christian life because it is what we’ve been taught or otherwise think it is the right way of living. How many of us have truly encountered Jesus, fallen in love, and wished to do things in order to express our love of him? How many of us practice virtue and/or serve others to express our gratitude for his life, death, and resurrection? In other words, how much of our Christian behavior is filled with joy because it is something we do in response to love as opposed to something that we do out of a sense of obligation?

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit pondering your life story in relation to your encounters with God. What motivates you to live the Christian life? Don’t be surprised if you, like me, find that the answer is multifaceted. The purpose of this exercise is to hone in on how much of your faith walk is a response to love; how much of it is a joyful expression of your love of him. If you do not like the answer, spend some time praying for the gift of a loving response to his mercy and kindness.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS

I have greatly struggled with the modern discussion on racism. For one, from my perspective, the definition of racism has drastically changed in the last few years. We used to distinguish between bias and racism. Racism was limited to situations where a person hated another just because of their race. This was not seen as a common situation. Bias, on the other hand, was something we all struggled with. Some forms of bias were good, and some not. 

This raises the question, how are biases created?  I am no expert, but in my recent studies of mindfulness, I have come to understand that we are the product of our experiences. Experiences are things that enter the brain for processing. During this processing, certain judgments and/or conclusions are created. Our mind is programmed to form conclusions and judgments that keep us safe and on the path of happiness.  The end result can be the creation of defense mechanisms or set methods of dealing with similar situations.  This whole process is natural, but the unconscious process does not always create valid conclusions and judgments; valid defense mechanisms and the like. I would suggest that biases are formed in this processing of experiences.

From this understanding, one can begin to understand my frustration with modern dialogue on racism. First, it takes what may be faulty biases, and creates shame because of the emotionally charged context of the word racism.  Plus, the structure of the dialogue limits the potential personal growth related to addressing unhealthy bias to race relations.  The truth is, we can all use some form of reflection so as to undo the damage done by the subconscious processing of our experiences. We can all benefit from growing in self-awareness, and I think that in becoming more self-aware, we learn to live life more fully. 

This concept of re-engineering faulty conclusions is at the heart of the spiritual journey. Jesus is the light. Our darkness, in part, is based on the fact that we perceive our identity as based on the conclusions and judgments formed in this subconscious processing of experiences. Thus, as we pray, we step in to the light. It is hard to come into contact with misperceptions of who we are; however, St. Catherine of Siena says that before we can love God we have to stand in self-awareness. Stated otherwise, God is truth. If we do not fully understand ourselves in truth, we cannot stand in the presence of God. If we are in the dark, we cannot stand in the light.

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit looking at where your experiences have caused you to form faulty conclusions. Ask him to show you where your biases are keeping you from living life to the fullest; where they are keeping you from being fully engaged in the body of Christ. Ask him to show you how to cooperate with him to heal these things. Spend some time in silence.  Think of silence, in part, as being under the influence anesthesia, while you let the doctor do his work.  As you close your time of prayer, thank him and praise him for all that he does for you. Ask him to help you be aware of when your improper biases are coming into play, and to teach you to rely on him to deliver you from these behaviors to healthy new behaviors.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS

I continue to muse about the concepts of treasures in heaven as life experiences, and these thoughts are creating great joy within me. I hope to share some of my ideas in hopes that they create joy for you too.

Life is about living, yet I ponder how many of us truly live. In our fast paced society, it is easy to bounce from one experience to the next, and when we do this, it is difficult to process our experiences. If we do not process our experiences, we do not fully suck the nectar out of life.

While thinking on this, I thought of one of the best scenes Hollywood ever gave us. It comes from the movie Parenthood. Steve Martin’s character and his wife are arguing about hardships in parenting. The grandmother walks into the room, seemingly oblivious of the conversation, and announces that her husband took her on a roller coaster ride when she was 19. Steve Martin just stares at her, and says, “nice story.” She continues by talking about how amazing the ride was. She talks about how it made her feel so “frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together.” She then talks about how some people do not like it, and they stick to the merry-go-round, which just goes in circles. She closes with, “I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.”

Of course, she was using the story as an analogy for life. We can keep ourselves safe and secure by staying on the merry-go-round where things are predictable.  However, to really live, we must take on of the complexities of the roller coaster ride. We need to live the full experience of the ups and downs, the scary and exciting.

Jesus is a good example of one who embraces this way of thinking. Implicit in his story is a life of friendship and camaraderie.  In addition, he was all powerful, and yet let people imprison him, humiliate him, and kill him. When he was offered wine as a way of numbing his pain, he rejected it. He experienced the totality of his life, the good and the bad. He lived life to the fullest, and he invites us to do the same.

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit pondering your life. How are you living your life? Are you on the most intense of roller coasters, the merry-go-round, or something in between these two extremes? Do you feel like you are getting the most out of your life? Is it time to change to a different ride? Have you experienced so much of the bad, that you have shut yourself down to avoid the pain, and has that cost you the enjoyment of the good?  Spend some time praying with the Holy Spirit about where you can tweak and fine-tune your life so as to store up more treasures from your life experiences.   Take theses treasures to prayer, and see how these experiences enhance your spiritual journey.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS

Based on my blog yesterday about heavenly treasures existing in every day life, I spent time this morning pondering the treasures I have stored up to date. This process included a walk down memory lane as I recalled moments in life that still resonate joy even with the passage of time. I will say, that very few of these memories involved the purchase of any particular item. However, they did have to do with personal achievements and encounters with people where I felt appreciated and at the same time appreciated by the person or people with whom I shared the encounter. In other words, there was great joy in the experience of feeling connected.  At the same time, some of these memories were from sad times. For instance, I was thinking about the joy of playing with my mother at the height of her dementia. We had a lot of fun. In fact, we could spend hours with the Snapchat filters.  I have a lot of funny pictures of the two of us.  In addition, there were some wonderful treasures from her funeral as we celebrated her life.  

As I sat with these memories in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I started to likewise ponder all the lost treasures. Depression has impacted my life, and this condition has caused me to miss out on many treasures. I lost several friends during the time when I was not very communicative. I turn down many opportunities to meet new people and to share new encounters with both old and new. As I concluded my prayer time, I  more clearly realized the fact that living in the world, both the good and the bad, gives rise to new treasures. It is in fully experiencing life that we increase our treasures. These treasures are definitely heavenly when they enhance the good within us and positively influence the lives of those around us.

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit pondering your treasures in heaven. What are the things that I’ve actually made you happy? Take the lessons learned from this walk down memory lane and apply it to your current goals and endeavors. Spend a few minutes pondering these goals and endeavors in light of the Gospel. Talk to the Holy Spirit about whether these goals and objectives are things that will equate to treasures in heaven, or whether some tweaks might be needed to better achieve the goal of storing up treasures in heaven.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS

Jesus said to his disciples: “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant searching for fine pearls. When he finds a pearl of great price, he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.” NABRE

In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells us about the joyful experience of finding the kingdom of heaven. As I pondered these words, I had many thoughts. I thought about how this is tied to Matthew 7:7, wherein Jesus directs us to seek so that we can find. I pondered the idea of how brutal the process of searching can be, and how these words of joy re-invigorated my commitment to searching. However, the thing that occurred to me most strongly was the idea that finding the kingdom is not a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

In fact, the more I prayed about this idea, the more I realized that finding the kingdom is something that can happen daily. It is in finding treasures in our daily lives that we discover the joy of the kingdom of heaven. We can find it in contemplative prayer through which we encounter the indwelling Trinity. We can likewise find it in something as simple as a flower, a sunset, or even the smile of another person.

Of course, when we fully enter into the kingdom in the next life, our joy will be complete.  Still, this truth does not diminish the value of the joy we experience in our lesser encounters with the kingdom. In fact, we learn to live more joyfully when we work to stay in the present and to allow ourselves to be more fully aware of when we encounter the divine. Plus, we can enhance these experiences by pondering them in our hearts. In learning to cherish these encounters, we will learn to live the fruit of these two parables each and every day.

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit pondering how you have encountered the kingdom of heaven today. Spend some time celebrating the joy of these encounters, and allowing it to grow in your heart. Spend some time pondering how you can enhance your encounters with the kingdom in your day-to-day life. End your prayer with praise and thanksgiving to a God who loves you, and wants you to live a joy-filled life.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS

Jesus proposed another parable to the crowds, saying: “The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While everyone was asleep his enemy came and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off.  When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well. The slaves of the householder came to him and said, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where have the weeds come from?’ He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ His slaves said to him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’ He replied, ‘No, if you pull up the weeds you might uproot the wheat along with them. Let them grow together until harvest;  then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters, “First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning; but gather the wheat into my barn.”’” He proposed another parable to them.“The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that a person took and sowed in a field. It is the smallest of all the seeds, yet when full-grown it is the largest of plants. It becomes a large bush, and the ‘birds of the sky come and dwell in its branches.’”He spoke to them another parable. “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed with three measures of wheat flour until the whole batch was leavened.” All these things Jesus spoke to the crowds in parables. He spoke to them only in parables, to fulfill what had been said through the prophet: I will open my mouth in parables, I will announce what has lain hidden from the foundation of the world.  Then, dismissing the crowds, he went into the house. His disciples approached him and said, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.” He said in reply, “He who sows good seed is the Son of Man, the field is the world, the good seed the children of the kingdom. The weeds are the children of the evil one, and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels. Just as weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all who cause others to sin and all evildoers. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears ought to hear.” NABRE

What is the kingdom of Heaven? Matthew’s parables provide some insight into what we can expect. In fact, Matthew preaches that the kingdom has come, and that it is to come. Some may read this as it was present while Jesus walked the earth and it is to come again with his second coming.  This interpretation does not recognize the Holy Spirit as an avenue for making the kingdom present today.  I think the better interpretation is that the kingdom is here, but its fullness will be realized in the hereinafter.  Still, there is much to experience in this life. 

What does today’s Gospel reading tell us about kingdom living?  The scope of its message is beyond what I want to focus on today, which is insights into the leaven and the mustard seed.  As I ponder these two parables, I see an underlying theme of growth. This insight went deeper as I realized that a mustard seed has the ability to grow on its own, its growth is passive.  Contrast this with the active component of kneading the dough.  In other words, living within the kingdom has both active and contemplative components. Both of these are important for growing the kingdom of God in this life.

In the active life, we knead the leaven by living a life of service like Jesus did. Service to others enhances the kingdom in two ways. By serving others, we live out the Gospel, and attract new members to the kingdom. It is in loving service that we draw people to Christ. In addition, through service, we die to self. Our selfish desires are broken down, and we have the opportunity to see the joy that comes from selfless living.

However, the active life is incomplete without the contemplative. The truth of the statement may come to light differently in different people. In my experience, my active ministry collapsed. I was unable to successfully continue the mission. Through the lens of my experiences, I have come to understand that service without the involvement of the Holy Spirit is good, but it is not as fulfilling and robust as service with and in the Holy Spirit. 

How do we attain this joint mission of service in and through the Holy Spirit?  I suggest it is through the contemplative efforts. It is through the mustard seed. The mustard seed is planted. The rain falls, and the sun warms the earth. These activities, plus the DNA instructions inherent within the seed, cause it to grow into a large plant.  

I would suggest that it is through sitting in silence with the son while reflecting on his love and mercy that we allow God to grow the kingdom within us. We allow him to prune away anything that is not holy. We allow him to take up a deeper residence within us. We allow him to fortify us and to make us strong.

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit in silence. Invite the Spirit within and authorize him to shape your interior life so that it looks more like that of Jesus. Spend some time just knowing how much you are loved by God. As you wind down your passive prayer, invite the Holy Spirit into your active prayer. Invite him to use you to knead the dough of your social life.  Allow him to invigorate your life by helping you be more aware of his presence in your active life. Close your time of prayer with praise and thanksgiving, and sing joyful songs to the Lord.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS

In John 10:10 Jesus tells us that a part of the Gospel message is living life more fully. During Lent, I found myself pondering what this meant. As I meditated on his passion and on his acceptance of each aspect of his crucifixion, I came to believe that living life to the fullest means embracing each moment of each day. It means accepting what God allows to happen in each moment, and praising him as Job did. Job 1:21. It means accepting the good and the bad. It means trusting that God will make something of both.

I have been studying mindfulness practices over the course of the last week.  The course I am taking explained several different forms of mindfulness practices. Some had to do with enhancing focus, like meditating on one’s breathing. Others had to do with being more self-aware. For instance, there was an exercise where one focuses on the process of walking, like focusing on raising one’s leg, placing it on the ground, and rolling the foot on the floor. Then, there were acceptance exercises and compassion exercises. The compassion exercises were directed at one’s self and others. 

In my efforts to learn to live in the moment, I spent over an hour and a half at a restaurant yesterday practicing mindfulness by endeavoring to stay present while experiencing the food. This may be common practice for many of you, but I spend most of my time reading about various topics, thinking about these topics, or escaping into television, novels, computer games, and social media. So truly working to experience food while sitting in a restaurant by myself was something very new for me. 

Today, I spent some time with the breathing exercises, and I will find other ways in which to stay fully present in the day today stuff. I hope in time, I will be able to blog more fully about mindfulness and the spiritual walk. However, in pondering how much this pandemic has caused many to focus on survival over quality of life, I hope by sharing some of these concepts, you too might find a way to turn this gime isolation into something more transformative.

On this note, I encourage you to spend some time existing in the moment with the Holy Spirit. Practice just sitting in his presence and experiencing his love. If you feel resistance to his love, talk to him about the source of your resistance. Ask him to help heal you and to show you the resources you need to more fully engage in life because the sole purpose of life, from a general perspective, is to learn to walk with and in God each moment of every day. One can only do this by living in the moment.

In Him,

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS

Resources for those who are interested: 

https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/the-science-of-mindfulness-a-research-based-path-to-well-being?tn=Continue+Watching_0_0&lec=9 

https://mindfulness-solution.com/downloadmeditations/

http://www.sittingtogether.com/meditations.php 

On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat down, and the whole crowd stood along the shore. And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil. It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep, and when the sun rose it was scorched, and it withered for lack of roots. Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it. But some seed fell on rich soil and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold. Whoever has ears ought to hear.” NABRE

In this Scripture passage Jesus, the sower, goes about tossing seeds. In the commentaries, there is some discussion about this odd way of sowing. Some say that farming practices during this time included sowing first and plowing second. In other words, the sower word scatter the seed and then plow it into the ground. Others agree that this was a standard practice, but do not believe that this was the picture of Jesus was trying to paint.

While I always enjoy hearing what the scholars think, I find their focus here curious. The fact is, Jesus stood on boats, on mountains, and the like while releasing his words, and his actions are perfectly reflected in this description of the sower.  

As discussed last week, Matthew’s Gospel is intent on addressing concerns of his predominantly Jewish audience. The fact was that most of the Jews listening to the good news refused to accept it. So again, we find Matthew assuring his Jewish audience that they are the rich seeds with bountiful harvest. He again explained to them that some people are not open to his words.

Matthew’s Gospel also speaks to us. There are parts of the Gospel we want to hear, and parts that we don’t. It is wonderful to hear the words of eternal life and of a loving and merciful God. Only the people who think they are the most unworthy people alive would fail to embrace the beauty and comfort contained in these words. But what about when he talks about the narrow path and cross carrying? What about the times he tells us how we are likely to be rejected and shunned because we follow him?  Isn’t it likely that we are each and every type of soil described in this parable?  Isn’t it likely that we all need to spend some time learning to hear more clearly?

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit reflecting on your acceptance of the Gospel. Which aspects do you more readily embrace than others? What about the areas with which you struggle the most? Where do you see the fruit of his harvest and where is the fruit lacking? Spend some time with the Holy Spirit asking him to help you be more open to the parts of his messages that are more difficult to accept. Spend some time praising God and thanking him for allowing you to hear, and asking him to help you hear more thoroughly.

In Him, 

Ms. Debra D. Weldon, O.P., JD, MTS